I can now say I’m a writer.  I have a book to show it is so.  Of course, a writer is one who writes, and may never share anything with the world.  So, perhaps a writer doesn’t need an audience, other than him or herself.  It’s more, perhaps, the act of discovering what you think and feel as you write sentences on the page that defines a writer. 

Still, I have a book. And I have a growing audience. Yet, it’s not as I pictured it – both better and worse.  There was no grand announcement of a newly published book, cleaned, vetted and gussied up by a traditional publisher with knowledge, experience and reputation.  No advance, of course. No fancy cover designs to choose from. No marketing blitz.  No display at the bookstore.

Just a book, self-published. I like the cover well enough, but it could be better.  Some days after I submitted the approved files to createspace.com, the self-publishing website, the page for my book appeared on Amazon.com – without fanfare or even an email to tell me it was there.  Sometime later, createspace distributed the book to Barnes and Noble, and other channels – again, a surprise to me. In fact, the timing of the published book – June, coincided with end of school year, Dylan back from college, summer vacation, no one around, and kind of a general black hole of communication.  The plans I had for marketing and promotion all went on hold. 

Yet, things are happening. At this point I’ve sold over 80 copies, and given away a good 20 more – to my mom, those who helped me, etc., some as gifts.  Readers from 18 to 92 (my Aunt Tesha).  So far, four male readers, including my brother, a brother-in-law, and a former sweetheart in California. Slowly but surely, the word is spreading, and I hear, out of the blue, someone else has read it – and, liked it, it seems.  Ladies from church, neighbors down the street, Facebook friends, my son’s roommate at Duke’s mother who lives in California, an acquaintance from my brother’s high school class, a college friend of Donald’s!  My book has been taken on vacation to Canada and Cape Cod.  A friend has downloaded it on her Kindle to read while undergoing treatments at Massachusetts General Hospital. Maybe funniest, is one of my mother’s friends in Dillsburg, PA – from that hearty German stock that the protagonist, Gretchen, comes from, with their good hearts and sometimes narrow religious views.  The story seems to have passed muster with New Yorkers, Midwest folks, Hispanic folks, and readers of various religious persuasions who have read it.  I encouraged them to tell me otherwise.

And the book clubs.  I expect most of the members of my book group will order it, and I think probably vote on it for a book to read in 2012.  My mother-in-law, God bless her, has taken orders for 14 books (plus 2 Kindle) for her book group, who will read it for October meeting, where I will be a guest.  My sister-in-law is trying to get my book lined up for her book group.  And, so it goes. 

In truth, it’s a funny thing to be read by those who know you, or think they do. For some of them, it’s a bit awkward.  They want to read the book, to support me and out of curiosity.  But, there’s a certain fear they might not like it, or find it not that good.  Plus, the actual difficulty of knowing me, and wrestling with what part of me is in the story events or in the characters.  Plus, fellow writers have an eye toward writing blips – which all writers have – and sometimes can’t distance themselves from some of the problems, in spite of what else might be quite good, or easier to accept for someone with more distance.  One of the most gratifying moments I had was the response from a woman in my writing group, who had slogged through all the early drafts and false starts.  But, on vacation this summer, she read it through and enjoyed it!  I think she was as surprised as I was that, in spite of its imperfections, there really is a story there.

Anyway, I write.  I think I have a story in mind, and it comes out quite different than what I originally thought.  I think I have a certain audience in mind (the community college students), and yet, there, too, it’s others entirely!  To write is to change, and I’m quite certain that the person I am now is not the same person I was when I set out to write this book quite some time ago.  In truth, it's been quite a long time that I've been writing - since elementary school, perhaps. But, now I'm a writer with a book and with readers!