Not until a recent reunion of my husband’s law school class, did I realize the extent that Cupid had taken a part in our romance, in the person of one Allan Miller. I’d met Allan before on two occasions, not realizing his key part in my own life. It was nice to see him again at the reunion – a handsome man with a bashful smile, on the eve of his own nuptials (planned for 10/10/10), a second wedding for the groom. Allan was one of Donald’s housemates from law school days, and remained part of the core group of alumni.  Not much of a talker, Allan’s reputation from law school was a guy with a beautiful girlfriend, who inspired ardent crushes among female students.  In other words, a man with a way with women, which his fellow males students admired and puzzled over.

 In our case, cupid’s arrow was a letter – written from myself to Donald on the occasion of his own engagement to another woman.  Here’s the irony of the situation, and where cupid/Allan had to intervene in this situation or we never would have gotten back together. Donald and I had been sweethearts for a spring and a summer in 1979, the year that Donald graduated from UCONN.  I was two years behind and planning to transfer to another school: UMICH, Williams, Northeastern U. or UC/Santa Cruz.  Donald had a vision of us together and married (at twenty-two), if I had stayed in the northeast. But my heart was set on the west coast and adventure, so off I went.  From my mother’s years as a widow, it was clear to me that a woman should have the means and ability to be self-sufficient, and to have her own first hand experience of the world.  Therefore, we parted ways, but kept in touch over the years, still interested in each other’s lives.

 In this letter, I congratulated Donald on his engagement and said I was certain he would be a good husband. I told him that after a few years of exploring the world and dating other guys, I had come to appreciate his good qualities of humor, respect, hard work, commitment to a goal, and being part of an extended family with a strong sense of identity and tradition.  I believe to this day, that it was my intention to affirm that he was a good, deserving and worthy guy, which I had not seen so clearly earlier on. After all, I had left him for the west coast, without a real explanation for the true cause of breaking up: his pressure to settle vs. my need to explore. I couldn’t very well say these things to him after he was married

 Needless to say, he was a bit puzzled by the significance of this letter, and in fact, came to realize that he loved me in a way that he had loved no other, maybe due to my yearning to see more of life rather than settle down right away. He took the letter to Allan Miller, for that deep interpretation of a woman’s words that only Allan could provide.  And Allan said, “She still has feelings for you, and you should go for it.”

The rest, as they say, is history. Some men do have special insight into women, for whatever reason. Allan Miller, I have a lot to thank you for. Blessings on your marriage.