The Wild Ride
Posted by Shelli Altopp Miller at 3/26/2010 9:25 PM 
Categories: Shelli Altopp Miller, Animals
Tags: daughters dressage mother-daughter relationship horses
Categories: Shelli Altopp Miller, Animals
Tags: daughters dressage mother-daughter relationship horses
Ava* slips into the pasture. Merry had been bucking, trying to incite Casey to frolic with her, to usher in Spring. Casey wasn't interested; Perhaps she knew she'd soon get her chance to burn off some energy. They both follow Ava to the small, old stable where she retrieves the bridle and lead rope from a rusty hook. Casey lowers her massive head and Ava easily slips on the bridle then leads Casey to the gate. I've been here dozens of times for Ava's lessons but never paid attention before to this interaction. It's amazing to watch a powerful beast so docilely follow my daughter from freedom to captivity, for she must know she will soon be commandeered from the saddle.
Casey is a well-trained, seasoned competitor, yet she has free will and has exerted it. She has refused jumps and thrown riders, including my daughter. At a recent show, I learned from another mom that her daughter received a slight concussion after Casey threw her last year. That got me worried. I asked Ava if she knew about the concussion - she did. I asked if she wanted to try a different horse - she didn't. I wondered if, as a parent, I should override her desire in the interest of safety.
Hunter-Jumper instructors match rider to horse. I know why Ava and Casey were paired up: Both are strong-willed, independent, and stubborn. When Ava was thrown, she didn't hesitate climbing right back into the saddle. In fact, she was more determined to make Casey mind, and it paid off. She and Casey earned first and second place ribbons at their last show.
Our mother-daughter relationship has been one wild ride. We've taken turns in the proverbial saddle, and throwing each other. The qualities that have been the most challenging for me parenting Ava - her strong will, independence, stubbornness, and determination - are exactly the qualities that will serve her well through her teen and adult years. It's my job to help her direct these traits in beneficial, productive ways, like dressage. As long as Ava feels secure on Casey's back, and wears her helmet, I will gladly share the load with Casey.
*name changed
Casey is a well-trained, seasoned competitor, yet she has free will and has exerted it. She has refused jumps and thrown riders, including my daughter. At a recent show, I learned from another mom that her daughter received a slight concussion after Casey threw her last year. That got me worried. I asked Ava if she knew about the concussion - she did. I asked if she wanted to try a different horse - she didn't. I wondered if, as a parent, I should override her desire in the interest of safety.
Hunter-Jumper instructors match rider to horse. I know why Ava and Casey were paired up: Both are strong-willed, independent, and stubborn. When Ava was thrown, she didn't hesitate climbing right back into the saddle. In fact, she was more determined to make Casey mind, and it paid off. She and Casey earned first and second place ribbons at their last show.
Our mother-daughter relationship has been one wild ride. We've taken turns in the proverbial saddle, and throwing each other. The qualities that have been the most challenging for me parenting Ava - her strong will, independence, stubbornness, and determination - are exactly the qualities that will serve her well through her teen and adult years. It's my job to help her direct these traits in beneficial, productive ways, like dressage. As long as Ava feels secure on Casey's back, and wears her helmet, I will gladly share the load with Casey.
*name changed
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