It's All Greek To Us
Categories: Beverly Breton Carroll, Where We Live
Tags: conversation native tongue communicate partner
My shiatsu masseuse is Japanese. Her husband is German. He does not speak Japanese. She does not speak German. The language they share is English, but hers is halting, accented, and has many gaps. I've not met him. He may speak excellent English and easily fill in her deficiencies. But clearly the language she can truly communicate in is Japanese. So now, as I lie on the mat, being pushed, prodded and stretched by her while we chat in an incomplete way, I find myself wondering, what would it be like to not speak a truly common language with your partner?
Not until I finish a new hair-pulling conversation with my husband, discovering he thought he'd said one thing and I thought he'd said something quite different, do I realize I know the answer to that question. My husband and I don't always speak a truly common language either! English may be the native tongue we share, but he and I can finish a conversation with less meaning exchanged than in one of my brief halting exchanges with my Japanese friend. Why on occasion are my husband and I so adept at using the same language and talking about ostensibly the same thing, yet passing each other right by with our words, on parallel tracks, like two passing ships in the night? I wish I knew.
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