Greetings from the Pacific Northeast. (Atlantic Northwest?) Rainy Town.

Talk runs to building arks and impersonating mushrooms here in New England these days, ah-yup. This is not summer as we know it. This wet wet weather we've been having for weeks is supposedly due to a sagging jet stream—as if many of us didn't already have enough sagging going on. Today, another day of rain, was particularly bleak because a friend reported that the meteorologists say this is what we can expect from global warming.

I had decided my current home state of Massachusetts would become the new New Jersey as a result of global warming. A few degrees warmer up here, and now we're the absolute IT state because we're still picturesque, academic, and decidedly open-minded, only now with warmer weather, we have beaches where people can actually swim in the summer without losing appendages to frostbite, and the best skiing on this side of the continent, all within an easy drive. But if we're actually going to become Oregon? Hey, we love you guys out there, but not your weather; this was a low blow.

If Boston is the new Eugene, we've got some changes to make.

New wardrobe pieces: Hoodies. This is a required clothing item. Helps protect your hair-do or hide it if there's no hope in all this humidity. And rubber boots. Practical and, in bright colors and patterns, fun. We need these because our normal fun, like bike riding, tennis, baseball, pool swimming, sailing, and deck sitting, has been washed out. Attired in some polka-dotted wellies, we can enliven our soggy hikes with our dogs, and have dry feet while we weed our gardens to our heart's content because this weather makes the weeds grow like, well, weeds!

New lifestyle statement: TURN OFF THE AC! We can do it easily enough at home, but you proprietors, particularly malls, restaurants, and grocery stores need to follow suit. We're already wet, and we don't want to add wicked cold and clammy to the mix. We'll buy or eat less and leave quicker if you persist in icing us out. (In the meantime, good thing we've got those warm rubber boots, and can put up our hoods to keep warm...)

New activity: Is it the forced captivity from all that rainy weather that makes the Northwest a hot spot for alternative music? Why not here? Break out the instruments, limber up the vocal chords, pull together some waterlogged friends, and start making the music that floats your boat...or ark. Let The Sun Shine In.

Because ya won't be seein' it outside any too soon.